Moaning Monday

The more that I think about it, the more that I believe that I’m trapped in a life that is not my own. Sometimes, I feel like I’m standing outside of myself, looking at the stupid choices that I’ve made. Have you ever watched a soap opera and you find yourself screaming at the characters in the television like they can actually hear what you are saying to them? That’s how I feel sometimes.

I find myself dreading Monday’s. To me that is the hardest and the most stressful day of my week. I call it Moaning Monday because by the time I leave work, I’m moaning because my head hurts so bad. I know that it may seem wrong, but if I get through Monday, I know that the rest of my week will just fly by.

Wondering

Do you ever find yourself pausing and not knowing the reason why? Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with someone when you are suddenly at a loss for words? Have you ever wanted to say something to someone and not quite know the right words to say? I find this happening to me more and more these past couple of months. Sometimes the words are right on the tip of my tongue and when it is time to utter the syllables, I lose my nerve or I just don’t have the balls.

Any person that has had to have a conversation with other individuals has been in this situation before. Even people who speak publically for a living have found themselves with cotton-mouth when the right words just wouldn’t come out. I have met a lot of people in my life who seem to have diarrhea of the mouth. These are the individuals who just don’t know how to shut their traps. But have you ever taken the time to listen to what they have to say? Although they may be extremely annoying, they know exactly what type of words to say to get their point across.

I’ve been writing more and more lately, trying to see what type of vocabulary I spew out and I find myself using words that I wouldn’t otherwise use in everyday conversations with my friends and family. I think this is because I grew up in a neighborhood that didn’t emphasize the importance of having a wide range of vocabulary. It was more important to know what “stamps” were than actual currency. If you focused too much on pronunciation instead of being correct ebonically, then you were thought of as being to white and not black enough.

These words also become jumbled up in my head. Sometimes, there is so much that I want to say, but when it becomes time to say it, the words just won’t come out. Like right now, I want to be able to express myself my vocally, but that takes time, patience, and practice. I’m not sure that I have much of that. With words, I feel like a small child who has just discovered the things that her tiny hands can do. I want to feel every word that there is. I want my mind to fill with all of the colorful, magnificent, and magically words that encompass the world. I think that I will check out a dictionary from the library and try to remember all the words in it. I think I have just discovered something that will change my life completely. Wish me luck.

Cell Phones

I know this may sound mundane seeing as I'm typing this on my blackberry but sometimes I believe that a lot of individuals should not be allowed to use cell phones. I know that everyone has a right to use their phones whenever they please but there are some people that should not be able to have them at all.

For example, as I'm writing this, I'm sitting in the dentist office. Several people have their phone set to ring. If a regular ring tone is not annoying enough, then the one's were there is a song playing are even more annoying. Already I've heard gangsta rap, slow r&b, and country western and its barely ten o'clock in the morning. People have very ecclectic taste but should take into consideration others around them may not like the same things they do. Please put your phone on vibrate or better yet, turn it off.

Next are the people who actually answer their phones and carry on a private conversation. I don't want to hear about what went down at the club last night or who you slept with the night before. That's way to personal. I also hate it when individuals answer their phones when they are standing at the desk talking to the receptionist. Very rude.

These are the ramblings of an individual with a bad toothache who is tired of stupid people. I think I've made my case. Have a good morning people.

Youth Sports

Ok. Now I usually like to spend my off days at home, washing clothes and catching up with my DVR.I'm a mother so it's the little things that give me thrills. But for the past 3 months, I have spent every weekend at basketball games. Not that I'm upset or anything, but I'm a football mom. I like the sound of the crunching helmets and equipment. The only sounds I hear during basketball are the whistles that the refs are constantly blowing. Sitting at these facilities that have 5 courts and multiple games going on at once is crazy. Not to mention the concession stands that service greasy food and BEER??? Why would you serve beer at a youth sports facility? So the parents can drive their kids home while they are buzzed? It's so amazing to me. Even though I don't care to much for basketball, my son loves the game so I tolerate it for him but I really wish that he could play football year round. Then I would be completely hooked.

Bring it on 2010

I told myself that last year was really crappy because my husband and I actually slept through the ball dropping. So we made sure that this year we were wide awake ringing in the new year with the rest of the world. But that day really started off with a bang. My husband couldn't fall back to sleep even though he had to be at work at 5:00 am and I fell asleep next to a drafty window. Now my husband and I are both sick. And to top it off, I have to drive all the way to Oldham County so that my son can play basketball in a winter tournament. I'm never going to get rid of this cold if I continue to go out in 7 degree weather chasing the basketball dream. Sometimes it sucks, but I wouldn't change being a mom for the world.

The bang that I expected for 2010 was that somehow all of my bills would magically pay themselves but boy was I wrong. Magic only happens in movies. It sure would be really great to somehow transform into a socialite so that people would pay me to take my picture and I wouldn't have to worry about paying bills because someone would want to do it for me. So since I'm living in the real world I'm going to continue to pray that everything will work out for us eventually. I will continue to go to my 40 hour a week job and making sure that my son finishes his homework correctly. I will also continue to make sure that he gets to his practices on time.

Have a happy new year everyone. I'm going to go back to sleep before the next game.

Oh the holidays...

First of all, let me start off by saying Merry Christmas. There, I think that I have it completely out of my system right now. I've started cooking my dinner, my house is starting to look like people live here and I have Law and Order: S.V.U. playing through my PC on Netflix. It doesn't get any better than this, I guess.

Anyway, on to the topic at hand. Christmas. So, I'm scrolling through the address book on my cell, sending out the usual holiday wishes. Don't you guys hate it when people respond back to your text with "Who is this?" I mean seriously, if someone has taken the time out to wish you a happy holiday, the least you could do is the same. I exchanged several texts with a person who seemed really angry even after I told her who I was. I finally responded with "Just say Merry Christmas back. If I have the wrong number, Sorry. Just have a blessed day." She responded back with Merry Christmas. Was that so hard to do? I'm beginning to wonder why I sent her a text in the first place.

Anyway, I hope that my son got everything that he wanted. Christmas has become so commercialized that it is really becoming a thorn in my side. I've begun to secretly wish that someone would out Santa so that the real reason for the season could be celebrated. We buy our son stuff throughout the year so why is it that this one particular day is supposed to make the gifts that much more special? I'm so happy that he understands now because I was actually able to sleep in this morning.

I hope that everyone truly does have a blessed day. Enjoy all the time you spend with your family and keep the memory alive of those we have lost. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve (Hum Bug)

So, I find myself sitting at work on what should be one of our quietest days of the year. Instead, our computers are completely full. Why aren't people at home on Christmas Eve spending time with their families? And another question. Why are there so many children in here without their parents? Its Christmas Eve people. I just want this day to slowly end so that my son can open his one present and I can fall asleep without dreading this day for another year.